The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Ending War and Disease

A Practical Guide for Humanity

How to (Legally) Bribe Humanity to Redirect 1% of Military Spending to Radically Accelerate Medical Progress

⚡ TL;DR

For People Who Can’t Even

Your 60-Second Guide to Weaponizing Greed

The Problem: We’re all going to die from something stupid and preventable. Humanity spends 40X more on bombs and stuff than trying to cure every disease combined. This is inefficient.

The Solution: Stop pretending people are good. Instead, use the universe’s most abundant natural resource, human greed, to make helping sick people more profitable than murdering them.

Your Mission: Mass (Legal) Bribery

Your job is to borrow a $1 billion turn into a perpetual $27 billion/year river of cash, funded by redirecting a pathetic 1% of global military spending to curing diseases.

Get Your Initial Bribin’ Money: Invent “VICTORY Bonds,” a financial tool that gives investors a 270% annual return. This is more profitable than trafficking cocaine and significantly more legal. You sell $1 billion of these bonds to rich people who would prefer to be significantly richer.
Bribe the Public: You spend $140M to build a voting bloc of 280 million people demanding that their governments redirect 1% of military spending to cure disease. This creates a political threat.
Bribe the Bribers: You give defense lobbyists millions in bonds. Their 270% return (that only come if the 1% treaty is preserved) makes their old bribes look pathetic. They now work for you.
Bribe Some Politicians: You spend $800M on Super PACs to ensure politicians face a choice: either take your money and support the treaty, or get voted out by 280 million angry people who want to live.
Profit from Victory: The treaty passes. The $27 billion/year bribe machine is turned on forever. Everyone who helped gets 10% of that money forever (producing the 270% return). Use the remaining 90% to 82X the rate of medical progress by subsidizing hyper efficient pragmatic decentralized clinical trials.

Why Everyone Gets Rich From Not Dying from Terrible Diseases:

Defense contractors: Keep 99% of their murder budget ($2.67T) AND get 270% returns. They’ll kill you with kindness instead.
Pharma companies: Stop paying $48K per trial patient. Patients PAY THEM instead. It’s like Uber but for not dying.
Politicians: Get campaign money + avoid explaining to voters why they chose bombs over grandma’s cancer treatment.
Insurance companies: Prefer you either dead or immortal. Anything but expensively lingering.
You: Get access to subsidized, cutting-edge treatments + your trial participation determines what gets funded. Your choices, not committees.

The Math: Every $1 invested in an open global decentralized clinical trial marketplace creates $463 in benefits. (better than smallpox eradication’s 280:1 ROI).

Keep reading: How Oxford proved 82X cheaper trials work, why cutting military spending historically creates prosperity, how the legal structure avoids prison, and why defense contractors actually want this.

💀 The Problem

☠️ The Daily Holocaust

150,000 people die daily from curable diseases—one Holocaust every 40 days, or 50 September 11th attacks every single day.

Annual deaths from disease (54,750,000) versus deaths from 9/11 Terrorist Attacks (2,996)

Your body is quietly falling apart. Your cancer cells are multiplying RIGHT NOW. Your brain is deleting memories. Your joints are slowly turning into gravel. Your heart is getting tired of beating. Your telomeres are shortening. You are literally dissolving.

You’re a meat robot with worn-out parts. Every one of these failures is a solvable engineering problem.

You’d think we’d prioritize solving these problems. You’d be adorable for thinking that.

We haven’t cured a single disease in 50 years. But we have 13,000 nuclear warheads, enough to end civilization 13 times, just in case the first apocalypse doesn’t take.

💸 The Cost of War

We spend $2.72 trillion every year on stuff designed specifically to make humans stop being alive.

This shopping list includes:

Nuclear bombs.
Bullets.
AI murder-bots.
Invisible jets that cost more than hospitals.
Satellites that can see your bald spot from space.
Probably some kind of earthquake machine.

Meanwhile, we spend $68 billion on medical research. That’s 40 times less on curing all diseases combined than we spend on new ways to create corpses.

The Pentagon alone has lost $2.5 trillion. Not spent. Lost. Like change in a couch, except the couch is the size of Nebraska and the change could cure cancer hundreds of times over.

We have a Space Force but no Death Force. Your chance of dying from terrorism: 1 in 30 million. Your chance of dying from disease: 100%.

But wait. It gets dumber.

We spend 1,750 times more money causing or mopping up death than preventing it.

The good news: We already know how to fix this.

The bad news: It requires you to do something.

The weird news: You’ll get rich doing it.

💊 The Solution

3 Ingredients of a World Without War and Disease

The 1% Treaty = Redirects 1% of military budgets globally to the Decentralized Institute of Health (DIH) Treasury.
The Decentralized Institute of Health (DIH) Treasury = Holds the money and uses a new system of collective budgeting called Wishocracy where everyone votes on budget allocation rules (e.g., “70% to patient subsidies”), then patients determine specific funding by choosing which trials to join.
The Decentralized FDA (dFDA) = A new and improved FDA that ranks treatments by real-world effectiveness and enables patients to effortlessly participate in global decentralized clinical trials.

📜 The 1% Treaty

Redirect $27B/year from the War on Humanity to the War on Disease

Every nation redirects just 1% of their current murder budget to fund hyper-efficient decentralized clinical trials that subsidize patient participation.

We’d still have $2.69 trillion left for war and bombs and stuff. $2.69 trillion is enough to murder everyone on Earth 20 times. (Literally.)

🌐 Why Decentralization Works

Nobody tells the 14,000 people involved in making a pencil what to do. They just do it. No meetings. No committees. No PowerPoints. Just incentives and prices coordinating everything. Medical research works the same way when you stop letting committees run it.

🏦 The DIH Treasury

Decentralized Institute of Health

Instead of a committee of 200 bureaucrats picking winners, the Decentralized Institute of Health treasury directly subsidizes patients in the dFDA marketplace, letting them choose which trials to fund. The power of global collective intelligence decides.

🏥 The Decentralized FDA

Amazon for Clinical Trials + Consumer Reports for Drugs

The dFDA achieves 82X cost reduction through decentralized pragmatic trials. Patients can search treatments ranked by real-world effectiveness and join trials with one click.

Treatment Rankings: Consumer Reports for Drugs

Current system: Your doctor guesses which treatment might work based on one pharma lunch presentation from 2003.

dFDA system: Type your condition, see every treatment ranked by real-world effectiveness:

Outcome Labels: Nutrition Facts for Drugs

Food has nutrition labels. Cigarettes have warning labels. Drugs have… incomprehensible 40-page inserts written by lawyers having seizures.

The dFDA fixes that with Outcome Labels - simple, data-driven summaries showing exactly what happens when real people try a treatment:

Based on thousands of real patients, you see:

Cognitive Improvements: Memory +35%, Executive Function +22%
Side Effects: Headache +9%, Fatigue +7%
The Truth: Not marketing claims, actual measured effects from real humans

Just like nutrition labels transformed food transparency, outcome labels will transform medical transparency. No more guessing. No more 40-page legal documents. Just clear data about what actually happens.

🔬 Why This Actually Works

Unlike Everything Else Humanity Has Tried

✅ The Proof

You’re Not Delusional

🔬 Oxford Already Did It: The RECOVERY trial tested 6 treatments on 40,000 patients across 176 hospitals for $500/patient (vs FDA’s $41,000)—proving 82X cost reduction at scale. Not in theory. In reality. With actual dying people who became not-dying people.
📈 We’ve Done This Before: After WW2, we cut military spending by 30% and accidentally created the greatest economic boom in history. You’re only asking for 1%. Even drunk people can spare 1%. We trust the same people who lost $2.5 trillion to suddenly find it when it’s for bombs.

“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.” - President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1961
🌍 Switzerland’s 200-Year Proof: They spend 0.7% on defense, have $93K GDP per capita, 84-year life expectancy, and haven’t fought a war in 200+ years. Proof you can be rich, healthy, AND boring.
🔒 1% Less Military Spending INCREASES National Security: Since every nation reduces by 1% simultaneously, the balance of power remains unchanged. But now all your enemies have 1% fewer weapons pointed at you. This actually makes everyone MORE secure, not less.
🏛️ Everything You Need Already Exists:
- Legal framework: Copy the landmine treaty but for disease
- Technology: The same tech that shows you ads can match you to trials
- Natural allies: Insurance companies hate paying for sick people, pharma hates paying for trials
💰 The Money Math Works: Defense lobby gets $1,813 back for every $1 in lobbying. Same economic playbook, different outcome.

🎯 5-Step Plan

Your 5-Step Plan to Bribe Humanity to be 1% Less Idiotic

💵 1: Sell Bonds

Death-Prevention Bonds to Rich People

$1B From People Who Like Money

Remember WWII? America sold bonds to fight Nazis. People bought them because:

Nazis were bad for business
4% returns were considered good back then
Patriotism was trendy

You’ll sell the same bonds, except:

Cancer is bad for business
270% returns because inflation is a thing
Not dying is even trendier than patriotism

This raises the $1B needed to fuel the rest of the bribery machine.

This is what venture capitalists call “asymmetric risk” - you either lose your money or make 270% annually until the heat death of the universe.

Treaty fails? You lose your money. But on the bright side, you won’t need that money because you’ll also inevitably die from a preventable disease anyway.

Better Returns Than:

Medallion Fund: 39% (previous record)
Warren Buffett: 20%
Real Estate: 15%
S&P 500: 10%
Cocaine Trafficking: 90% (but risky)
VICTORY Bonds: 270% (and legal)

Here’s the deal you offer investors:

They give you: $1,000
You give them: $2,700/year forever

How? The treaty redirects $27B annually. Investors get 10% of that river of money. Forever. Or until the sun explodes. Whichever comes first.

The math:

\[ \text{Annual Return} = \text{\$27B} \times 10\% = \text{\$2.7B} \]

\[ \text{ROI} = \frac{\text{\$2.7B annual return}}{\text{\$1B invested}} = 270\% \]

It’s like buying Manhattan for $24 worth of beads, except legal and you’re saving humanity.

👥 2: Bribe the Masses

Into a Mob

You need 3.5% of humanity to vote yes on this question: “Humanity currently spends 40 times more on military than on medical research. Should nations redirect 1% of military spending to help cure disease?”

Spoiler: They’ll say yes. Even Florida will say yes.

Why 3.5%?

Historical research shows movements that engage 3.5% of a population have never failed to achieve systemic change. That’s the tipping point.

How to make it go viral (like COVID but helpful):

Give people fake internet points that become real money when the treaty passes
Cost per vote: $0.20-$0.50 (cheaper than a candy bar)
Proven to work: Change.org gets signatures for $0.20, and they’re just complaining
The pyramid scheme aspect: Everyone recruits everyone else because money

💼 3: Bribe the Bribers

The Art of the Counter-Bribe

Defense lobbyists currently get $1,813 back per dollar spent bribing Congress.

You offer them something better:

Give lobbyists $5-20M in bonds (270% returns vs their sad $500K salaries)
They still keep 99% of the defense budget (enough to end the world 19 times instead of 20)
They look like heroes instead of death merchants

🏛️ 4: Buy Politicians

(Legally)

Super PACs: Bribery With Extra Steps

Politicians love their jobs more than they love bombs. You funnel $800M into Super PACs. When 280 million voters want cures, politicians suddenly discover they’ve always loved cures. It’s a miracle. They are driven by one thing: re-election. Faced with an angry mob and a well-funded opponent, they will see the profound moral wisdom of curing disease.

💎 5: Enjoy

Cash In On the Health and Peace Dividends

The System Becomes Self-Sustaining

The treaty passes. The $27B/year river of money is unlocked.

Investors get their 270% returns.
Lobbyists get rich.
Politicians get re-elected.
The public gets miracle cures.

The machine runs on pure self-interest, and as a side effect, it saves humanity.

🎁 Everyone’s Bribe Package

(Tailored to Their Greed)

Defense Contractors: “Here’s 270% returns. You can keep making bombs with the other 99%. Deal?”
Insurance Companies: “Dead people cost zero. Healthy people cost zero. Sick people cost billions. Do the math.”
Big Pharma: “Instead of paying for trials, patients pay you. It’s like Uber reversed the taxi industry, but for drugs.”
Politicians: “Vote yes or explain to 280 million voters why you chose bombs over grandma.”
Billionaires: “Your portfolio returns 10%. This returns 270%. Any questions?”
Regular People: “Free experimental drugs that might save your life, plus your trial choices determine what gets funded. Your participation, not bureaucrats.”

💰 The Math

463:1 ROI (Better Than Selling Kidneys, Slightly More Ethical)

Here’s what happens when you stop filling out forms and start curing people:

Every dollar spent returns $463 in benefits.

\[ \text{ROI} = \frac{\text{\$463 in benefits}}{\text{\$1 invested}} = 463:1 \]

That’s not a typo. Four hundred and sixty-three dollars. It’s better returns than:

Selling organs on the black market
Running a casino
Being a pharmaceutical company
All three combined

Where the magic money comes from:

$50B in annual R&D cost savings: 82X reduction in clinical trial costs
840,000 Quality-Adjusted Life Years (QALYs) saved annually:
- Faster access to new treatments: 200,000 QALYs from faster drug access (2 years instead of 17 years to market)
- Better prevention through real-world data: 140,000 QALYs
- Enabling new therapies: 500,000 QALYs from enabling new therapies for rare diseases and previously untreatable conditions

This ROI is better than history’s greatest public health achievements like smallpox eradication (280:1) and childhood vaccinations (13:1).

♾️ Where Math Breaks

The Part Where Returns Go Infinite

Infinite Returns (Yes, Actually Infinite)

jupyter: python3 echo: false —

Here’s where it gets stupid in a good way:

When you redirect military money instead of asking for new money, the ROI becomes infinite.

The kindergarten math:

\[ \text{ROI} = \frac{\text{\$147.1B annual benefits}}{\text{\$0 new spending}} = \infty \]

Even a congressman can understand this. Probably.

Where the $147.1 billion comes from:

\[ \text{Total Benefit} = \underbrace{\text{\$97.1B}}_{\text{Peace Dividend}} + \underbrace{\text{\$50B}}_{\text{Health Dividend}} = \text{\$147.1B} \]

Peace dividend: $97.1B (from not building things that explode)
Health dividend: $50B (from not wasting money on paperwork)
Total: More money than God spends on therapy

(See peace dividend calculation | See dFDA health benefits breakdown | See economic impact summary)

Zero net cost: The $27B comes from redirected military spending (money already budgeted)
$147.1B in annual benefits: Peace dividend ($97.1B) + Health dividend ($50B)
Operating costs: Only $290M/year (campaign + operations)
Lives saved: 25,000/year ($875,000 \text{ QALYs} \div 35 \text{ QALYs/life}$)
Per life saved: Society PROFITS $167,771 instead of spending

The math says this is the best thing you could do with a billion dollars. Math is rarely wrong about money.

This is the only health trick that makes money instead of costing it. You literally profit from preventing death. It’s capitalism’s greatest achievement: making greed save lives.

Unlike traditional interventions requiring ongoing charity, this generates $147 billion annually while saving 25,000 lives.

🏆 Best Idea in the World

Beats Everything Else Humans Have Tried

10X Better Than Vaccines (And Vaccines Are Amazing)

The $147.1 billion annual benefit is like finding out your lottery ticket is also a cure for cancer and makes you better looking.

It’s 10 times bigger than childhood vaccines, which are literally one of humanity’s greatest achievements. That’s like being 10 times better than pizza. Impossible, yet here we are.

The beautiful irony:

Charities: Spend $3,500 to save a life (heroic)
This system: MAKES $5.87 million per life saved (capitalism’s redemption arc)

You don’t donate to this. You invest in it. Then you get rich while saving humanity.

It’s what Jesus would do if he understood compound interest.

🎲 Choose Your Own Adventure

🚪 Door #1: Status Quo

Keep Doing What We’re Doing

150,000 people continue dying daily (that’s a 9/11 every 17 minutes)
$119 trillion keeps getting flushed down the death toilet
You die from something we could have cured
Military budgets grow until we’re spending more on bombs than food
Healthcare bankrupts everyone who doesn’t die fast enough
Your grandchildren ask why you didn’t do anything

✨ Door #2: The Better Option

Obviously Better

25,000 fewer people die each year (exponentially growing)
$147 billion generated annually (real money, not hypothetical)
Major diseases cured within a decade
270% returns for early investors
Free healthcare via trial participation
Death becomes optional (terms and conditions apply)

⏰ Price of Procrastination

Today’s Death Bill (While You Read This):

410 humans deleted permanently (one every 3.5 minutes—faster than you can read this section)
$327 million burned in inefficiency
Your telomeres got shorter
Someone played nuclear weapon roulette
A politician said something stupider than yesterday (probably about vaccines causing 5G)

The Soviet Union went from nothing to taking over half the world to completely collapsing in a SINGLE HUMAN LIFETIME.

And Communism was a TERRIBLE IDEA. This is quantifiably the best idea in the world and radically less difficult than murdering millions of people and taking over half the world.

We’re just trying to get people to click “yes I would prefer not die of horrible diseases” on a damn website.

Humanity spends $118.8 trillion annually on dying and/or killing.

You’re asking to redirect 1% of just the killing budget to the not-dying budget.

Countries keep 99% of their murder capacity - still enough to end civilization 19 times instead of 20.

The choice is binary: Keep marching toward expensive death, or steal 1% from the military-industrial complex and live forever.